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PEOPLE are more valuable

I see PEOPLE as more valuable than money, because even WITH money, I can not BUY love and friendship, thus what I need and seek most in life is not PURCHASED. Therefore money holds even LESS meaning to me than it may to someone else.

There's not much I can picture in my head that is a MATERIAL item I yearn for requiring money beyond perhaps a home or a nice camper/RV to live and travel in - or both. I kinda have all the things I need, pretty much - but not as much the sense of love or belonging or connection or the sense that people love and see me for ME.

I already own my own film, music and art gear, I have a computer, maybe not the greatest stuff, but it works and I have it! It does what it should do!

But STUFF is not the same as one person to spend my days with who I adore, who I wish to learn more and more about. My intentions are genuine and pure but around most people, they react to me as if it's weird or wrong to place importance in people. It's taboo, it's needy, but then they talk on and on about their independent business. There is this toxic "DIY" hustle bullshit - even as a DIY punk sorta creative type I think to a degree what's done as a team can move mountains with less effort than one person alone, and the more energy you get behind a cause, the more motion you can make. I see strength in unity and community and bonding. I do so much, but I still need friends, I still need someone who has my back in the world, who sees me for the human I am, not the commodity or how valuable what I produce is to them (or not)...

I think it's weird and superficial NOT to care about people or prioritize connections as that is one of the most primal, core human needs whether we like it or not. We are really fucking weird and cool without needing to DO anything, just by existing - and for me, as someone who's often been so lonely that the loneliness itself is the nature of most of my trauma and pain... I have this great appreciation for whoever I am lucky enough to grow a deep connection with. It's obvious people are important and a large part of my whole path.

All of my art is just portraits of weird CHARACTERS. My takeaway from a film is usually what the characters vibes were, how they looked, their whole thing - not so much the plotline. I usually only really play a game so much as to create the character. It's all people. My art is people. I like to film PEOPLE, I only really wanna photograph a human subject and have no interest in still life or landscapes - my favorite movies are ones like CLERKS, SLACKER, Jim Jarmusch stuff like DOWN BY LAW... movies that are character pieces - slice-of-life, ensemble films revolving purely around people and interactions. See the theme there? That's obviously a big part of why I'm here on earth at all. PEOPLE. Connecting. Relating to other people. Relationships with other people. Interacting. Talking to people. Get it? I know what I'm all about, friend. I've always been this way as long as I hold conscious memory.

I wish I could say these things without the ensuing lecture because I have heard it all before. But I can not lie to myself regarding what I already know matters to me most.

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