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SOME STUFF that matters to me right now...

Here are some things I feel are helpful I wish more people knew...

*90% of the time I just want affection, kindness, intimacy. I'm asked "What do you need?" Maybe a hug, to be appreciated, a smile, a compliment...

*Sometimes I just need my own thought process presented to me to realize where I've been sabotaging myself - maybe I'd been overthinking something, or looking at the wrong part of the whole.

*A pattern of having my trust abused has it seems made me edgy regarding contacting and communicating with people, I may assume I'm being ghosted or people don't care and catastrophize if someone doesn't get back to me right away. This is something to overcome for sure.

*I don't care if I'm an adult - sometimes I need things explained in simple, concise answers and clear directions so I can stay sharp and not get stressed.

*Sometimes I don't want to talk about it - sometimes there aren't adequate words to get you to really understand, and talking about it might just make it worse.

*Being pressured to do things doesn't inspire me. I'm stubborn and very much an aquarius in that I have to decide for myself that I want to do something myself.

*I run on my time - maybe sometimes I sleep less, or not at all, or I sleep from 2am until 2PM and I don't demand anything else from myself - I learned to trust and accept what my body wants and does.

*Sometimes we just gotta keep it light - I deal with a lot of things at once, I have big dreams, and a lot I'd like to do in my life - sometimes it's better to take things in the direction of little, petty pleasures and distract from the heavy stuff.

*I often have more fun just wandering around, talking, goofing around and chatting with a friend or two rather than doing something like playing games or going to a party. I'd rather go look at cool houses in an interesting neighborhood, lurk around graveyards and climb rocks at the beach, or just muck around like hapless kids.

*I always say I wanna read - but sometimes I can only force myself to read when I absolutely am unable to do anything else - and usually I will pick up a book at random that I care less about and just commit to it.

*I realize I can not force creativity if it just doesn't wanna happen. Inspiration and flow state comes when it comes.

*Sometimes maybe I just want a tasty drink and a Quest bar.

*Often times I just want to be heard, understood, validated. I sometimes feel I am carrying heavy burdens and very much alone in this - and I want someone to hear me and be there with me. If nothing else than to just listen while I vent. It isn't good to keep it all bottled up.

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