Updated: May 25, 2019
I'm an empath. I'm sensitive. This delights and bothers me. I have felt so lost lately and so out of touch with that bliss and those beautiful emotions. My feelings have been so buried and bottled up. My frustrations bottled up. This is all manifesting physically as my environment becomes aggressively more frustrating and unbearable. i can not stress enough how many times i have wanted to scream. About everyone and everything. Go into a field and bring some old lamps and electronics and just smash them all. I am not an aggressive person but I need to purge what I feel must be immeasurable amounts of buried and stifled emotions accumulated over who knows how long. Because I know of the truth of the goodness on the horizon, and the realness of my desires I wish to manifest into my world, and my understanding and feeling and sensing of the blocks within my being that keep me in this place of teetering close to-but falling back away from-said desires ... I need to purge these fucking bottled up emotions. I no longer care what others think when I know they are extensions of the source that I am also an extension of - how ultimately everything is and always will be connected and there's an inherent comfort in that alone. But there is not comfort in me being inauthentic or feigning ease or etiquette when the greater portion of me wants to let all the ugly cry pour out as it may, and go get those old elecctronics and lamps and whatever I can find - heck, an old junked-up car, perhaps - and just vent out all the anger and the frustration and the stress and the old negative energies. Clear them out, purge them out, and then just chill. And then just allow myself the space within myself so that the goodness and the beauty and the optimism and the confidence I naturally possess inside can grow and expand and my inside world can find that ebb and flow I feel I can not access now as long as I carry all of this baggage I know is not serving me. That release, in an appropriate setting were I to find one, I can imagine would be liberating!